Lead 12:12 Christian Leadership Podcasts

LMX Theory

Have you ever been on a team where the leader had a better relationship with some team members than others?  Have you ever considered why you lack confidence in certain team members? Whether right or wrong, do you allow your distrust of them or the belief that they are unreliable to influence your interactions with […]

Nov 22, 2021 | 0 comments

LMX Theory

Have you ever been on a team where the leader had a better relationship with some team members than others?  Have you ever considered why you lack confidence in certain team members? Whether right or wrong, do you allow your distrust of them or the belief that they are unreliable to influence your interactions with […]

Transcription:
0 00:00:02,540 --> 00:00:02,740 -- Yeah. 1 00:00:08,540 --> 00:00:08,750 -- Mhm. 2 00:00:17,540 --> 00:00:24,430 -- This is lead 12 12 a podcast on christ centered leadership based on romans. 3 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:29,750 -- 12 12 rejoice in hope, be patient tribulation, be constant in prayer. 4 00:00:30,140 --> 00:00:32,860 -- Thanks for listening. Here's Dave and chris 5 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:35,860 -- hey everybody, we're back. 6 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:41,790 -- Yeah, did you miss this? Come on, it's okay to say you did we We missed you guys. 7 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:45,350 -- Thanks for listening today. Thanks for hanging out with us. 8 00:00:45,350 --> 00:00:48,670 -- We're excited to see what God's gonna do each time we 9 00:00:48,670 --> 00:00:51,000 -- get behind here and talk to you and share with you. 10 00:00:51,010 --> 00:00:56,250 -- David Jeremiah said this no matter what our circumstance, we can find a reason 11 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:57,660 -- to be thankful. 12 00:00:58,140 --> 00:00:59,850 -- So it's thanksgiving week, 13 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,190 -- there's always a reason to be thankful. 14 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:02,620 -- Yeah. 15 00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:05,610 -- And I think honestly in leadership you need 16 00:01:05,610 --> 00:01:08,040 -- to be thankful for who you're working with. 17 00:01:08,050 --> 00:01:12,160 -- You need to be thankful for your family that supports you in your leadership. 18 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:16,200 -- Absolutely. And you need to be thankful that God put you in a role of leadership. 19 00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:16,760 -- Yes. 20 00:01:16,770 --> 00:01:18,820 -- You know those attitudes start at the top 21 00:01:18,820 --> 00:01:22,410 -- to -- gratefulness is something that I think we need 22 00:01:22,410 --> 00:01:27,080 -- more and more sermons on and we need more and more um life application for 23 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:27,420 -- that. 24 00:01:27,430 --> 00:01:30,700 -- Yes. Absolutely. Yeah, that's really the time of year for that to a 25 00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:31,130 -- man. 26 00:01:31,140 --> 00:01:32,940 -- So we're talking about today chris dave, 27 00:01:32,940 --> 00:01:35,960 -- we're talking about leader Member exchange theory is called L. 28 00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:38,720 -- M. X. And this is very widely spread. 29 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,740 -- This is one of the better theories and something that I 30 00:01:40,740 --> 00:01:42,910 -- use all the time and and just by knowing you, 31 00:01:42,910 --> 00:01:44,860 -- I know that you use it all the time too? 32 00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:46,540 -- Let me ask you a question. 33 00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:48,320 -- Have you ever been on a team where the leader 34 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:51,170 -- had a better relationship with some team members than others? 35 00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:52,750 -- Sure. -- Absolutely. 36 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:54,160 -- Have you ever had one where the leader 37 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,320 -- has a very positive relationship with some people 38 00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:58,170 -- on the team and then maybe a negative 39 00:01:58,170 --> 00:02:00,580 -- relationship with other people on the same team? 40 00:02:00,590 --> 00:02:02,470 -- Absolutely. Even teachers. 41 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:04,350 -- Oh, that's that's a good thought. 42 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:08,389 -- Do you believe this affected not only the growth of the team but also the growth. 43 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,750 -- I'm sorry, the growth of those team members? 44 00:02:10,759 --> 00:02:11,700 -- Absolutely. 45 00:02:11,700 --> 00:02:14,130 -- And again, back to our model. Just think about it. 46 00:02:14,130 --> 00:02:17,730 -- You you wanted to learn from a teacher that thought you were important. 47 00:02:17,740 --> 00:02:21,130 -- If that wasn't the case, you weren't, you weren't as bought in. 48 00:02:21,140 --> 00:02:24,950 -- That's -- absolutely right. So that works perfect. That's an excellent point. 49 00:02:25,940 --> 00:02:27,240 -- We know that as a leader, 50 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:30,660 -- it's not always suitable to treat every member of your team equally. 51 00:02:30,670 --> 00:02:31,510 -- For example, 52 00:02:31,510 --> 00:02:33,030 -- you probably have team members with whom you 53 00:02:33,030 --> 00:02:35,240 -- have a positive relationship and you trust them. 54 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:38,700 -- They work diligently. They've never let you down to you. 55 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,730 -- These team members are priceless and maybe you make 56 00:02:40,730 --> 00:02:43,320 -- an extra effort to assign them challenging projects. 57 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:44,450 -- You ever done that? 58 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:46,460 -- I have? Absolutely. 59 00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:47,620 -- What about the opposite? 60 00:02:47,630 --> 00:02:50,950 -- You ever had people on your team that you may regard less favorably. 61 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:54,240 -- They may lack the long term career goals or maybe the less competent 62 00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:56,440 -- and you just don't trust them as much 63 00:02:56,450 --> 00:02:58,150 -- as I'd like to say? 64 00:02:58,150 --> 00:03:00,050 -- No, but I'm sure that I have, 65 00:03:00,140 --> 00:03:01,330 -- it's human nature 66 00:03:01,540 --> 00:03:04,540 -- and what happens is these people get assigned the routine task and 67 00:03:04,540 --> 00:03:08,120 -- they're not really considered for promotions or even challenging task at times. 68 00:03:08,130 --> 00:03:08,840 -- Amen. 69 00:03:08,950 --> 00:03:09,760 -- There you go. 70 00:03:09,770 --> 00:03:12,060 -- Have you ever considered or ask yourself why 71 00:03:12,060 --> 00:03:14,560 -- you lack confidence in these team members? 72 00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:19,460 -- Well, sure. I think well have you, that's the case. 73 00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:21,540 -- We need to encourage people to do that. 74 00:03:21,540 --> 00:03:25,010 -- You absolutely do need to and whether it's right or wrong, 75 00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:27,610 -- do you allow the distrust of them or the belief 76 00:03:27,610 --> 00:03:30,740 -- that they're unreliable to influence your interactions with them? 77 00:03:30,750 --> 00:03:32,340 -- Yeah, of course you do. Do you. 78 00:03:32,340 --> 00:03:35,300 -- Withhold opportunities that could help them grow and succeed. 79 00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:36,960 -- Maybe even subconsciously. 80 00:03:37,340 --> 00:03:38,150 -- Absolutely. 81 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:41,150 -- That's where L. M. X. Comes in. Leader member exchange. 82 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:42,220 -- L. M. X. 83 00:03:42,220 --> 00:03:45,960 -- Delves into how leaders develop relationships with the team members and how 84 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:50,190 -- those relationships can either help team members or hold back team members. 85 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,160 -- Can I say something really? Absolutely. 86 00:03:52,170 --> 00:03:52,590 -- You know, 87 00:03:52,590 --> 00:03:54,830 -- the more I hear this the more I think this 88 00:03:54,830 --> 00:03:57,780 -- is so applicable to the pastors that are listening. 89 00:03:57,790 --> 00:04:03,160 -- I'm sure we need to know our country. Here we go, thank you. We need to know our church. 90 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,840 -- We need to know the people that go there now. 91 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,860 -- It's hard and I know if you get big numbers, 92 00:04:06,870 --> 00:04:09,200 -- I hear that and you start small and then you go out. 93 00:04:09,210 --> 00:04:12,270 -- But I still think it's important that you care. 94 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:13,840 -- People don't know how much you care to. 95 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:17,870 -- The people don't know how much you care till they know, I can't get it right now. 96 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,160 -- You know, the one trying to get, I think so, 97 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:22,860 -- people don't care how much, you know, do they know how much you 98 00:04:22,860 --> 00:04:23,920 -- care? There we go. 99 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:24,850 -- That's it. 100 00:04:24,860 --> 00:04:27,410 -- I'm a speech major Ladies and gentlemen, Dave scott, Thank you. 101 00:04:27,420 --> 00:04:31,000 -- Thank you. Thank you. 102 00:04:31,010 --> 00:04:35,450 -- I don't know if you'll hear this or not, you may get re edited, but hey, 103 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:37,160 -- here we are. 104 00:04:37,540 --> 00:04:39,220 -- Okay. 105 00:04:39,220 --> 00:04:44,660 -- All right, back on L M X L M X was first proposed in a seminar by fred dance hero, 106 00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:48,600 -- George grain and William Hague away back in 1975. 107 00:04:48,610 --> 00:04:50,530 -- And it focuses on the relationship that 108 00:04:50,530 --> 00:04:53,260 -- develops between managers and team members. 109 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:57,890 -- A great many team leaders use L. M. X as the primary leadership style. 110 00:04:57,900 --> 00:04:58,930 -- Like I said, I do. 111 00:04:58,930 --> 00:05:03,630 -- I know you do another famous person who uses this is sooner pitch I he's the ceo 112 00:05:03,630 --> 00:05:08,250 -- of google and he has a lot of belief in this and this is his management style. 113 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:13,810 -- All right. And you said his name right too. I think so. Let's hope you 114 00:05:13,810 --> 00:05:14,270 -- out there. 115 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:17,870 -- You know what my trick is on names like that. 116 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:22,130 -- Like bible names that may confuse you say. I'm really fast. Not 117 00:05:22,140 --> 00:05:23,430 -- give me an example. 118 00:05:23,610 --> 00:05:26,390 -- Well, let's think of a name. It's hard to say. 119 00:05:26,390 --> 00:05:30,400 -- And uh, I can't think of anybody like there is a name in the bible. 120 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,820 -- It's I th e l now it can go either way. 121 00:05:33,830 --> 00:05:36,660 -- It kind of looks like it'll, but I think it's pronounced Isil, 122 00:05:36,710 --> 00:05:41,360 -- I heard a guy say no one knew what he really, 123 00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:45,560 -- I was like you say, I thought or ethyl no one knew because he just 124 00:05:45,940 --> 00:05:47,040 -- blew through it. 125 00:05:47,050 --> 00:05:48,410 -- But you got the idea 126 00:05:48,410 --> 00:05:50,760 -- what was going on. 127 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:52,220 -- Here we go. 128 00:05:52,230 --> 00:05:53,300 -- Sorry guys, 129 00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:56,800 -- we get off on tangents and I haven't been behind the bike for a few minutes, 130 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,960 -- so thanks for putting up with us today. 131 00:05:58,970 --> 00:06:01,760 -- Well, -- I'm glad that you're back though have really been missed. 132 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,760 -- We'll see how long that last. 133 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:10,370 -- Okay, alright, jumping back on L. M X. One of the critical concepts of L. M. 134 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:14,660 -- X is the concept of in group and out group followers. 135 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:20,230 -- What this says is essentially every team is made up of two smaller teams, 136 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,960 -- the in group and also the out group. 137 00:06:23,540 --> 00:06:25,540 -- Now the end group has more influence, 138 00:06:25,550 --> 00:06:29,920 -- more confidence and receives more concerned from the leader. 139 00:06:29,930 --> 00:06:34,360 -- This concern can be well being or just general communications. 140 00:06:34,940 --> 00:06:37,070 -- The end group is generally more dependable, 141 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:40,250 -- more involved and more communicative than the out group. 142 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:45,470 -- Excuse me, the out group is usually less compatible with the leader. 143 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:50,850 -- They may not have the same interest. They may not enjoy the same sports teams. 144 00:06:50,850 --> 00:06:54,560 -- It can be any reason that mentally the leader put someone in an out group 145 00:06:54,940 --> 00:06:59,770 -- and the out group usually just comes to work, does their job and go home. 146 00:06:59,780 --> 00:07:02,460 -- Dave, have you ever been on the in group or an out group? 147 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:04,200 -- Yeah. Absolutely. 148 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:08,660 -- I think every one of us has and you know, there's many different models, you know, 149 00:07:08,660 --> 00:07:11,360 -- whether it's at a church or it's at your work or 150 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:14,810 -- even if it's at the school that you attend or college, 151 00:07:14,820 --> 00:07:16,660 -- I think we've all experienced that. 152 00:07:16,660 --> 00:07:17,350 -- And I think 153 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:19,850 -- if we've experienced it, 154 00:07:19,850 --> 00:07:22,910 -- we need to make sure we remember it because we need to 155 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:25,410 -- understand that we could do this in such a better way. 156 00:07:25,410 --> 00:07:26,780 -- If we learn from our mistakes, 157 00:07:26,790 --> 00:07:27,990 -- you're absolutely right. 158 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,450 -- And let me ask you another question, 159 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:34,370 -- how did it affect your performance if you're in an in group versus an out group? 160 00:07:34,380 --> 00:07:38,180 -- I'm sure you're more lazy, you're not trying to, it doesn't matter, 161 00:07:38,190 --> 00:07:40,520 -- you get it done when you get it done kind of thing. 162 00:07:40,530 --> 00:07:42,460 -- That that's not the attitude, 163 00:07:42,460 --> 00:07:45,440 -- you want to have an attitude that you want your best foot forward, 164 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:47,260 -- you're giving everything 100% 165 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:50,350 -- if you don't believe in the person you're working for, why do you make them look good? 166 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:51,690 -- Absolutely, right. 167 00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:55,650 -- Can you imagine if the whole team was an in group where everyone has the same goals, 168 00:07:55,650 --> 00:07:56,570 -- they have trust, 169 00:07:56,570 --> 00:07:59,260 -- they have that relationship and they're pushing really hard all 170 00:07:59,260 --> 00:07:59,840 -- together. 171 00:07:59,850 --> 00:08:01,570 -- Can you imagine if a church had 172 00:08:01,570 --> 00:08:03,960 -- that, that that would be truly amazing. 173 00:08:03,970 --> 00:08:05,910 -- That would be the church that jesus died for. 174 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,760 -- Yes, it is. That's well put, I love that. 175 00:08:10,340 --> 00:08:11,940 -- Okay back to L. M. X. L. M. X. 176 00:08:11,940 --> 00:08:14,960 -- States that leaders should develop a high quality relationship 177 00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:16,770 -- with all the followers 178 00:08:16,980 --> 00:08:18,360 -- rather than just a few, 179 00:08:18,740 --> 00:08:22,180 -- the leaders should nurture a high quality exchange with all 180 00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:25,180 -- followers and not just those with the same interests. 181 00:08:25,190 --> 00:08:27,640 -- So it's on the leader to form this relationship, 182 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,050 -- it's not on the follower to form this relationship 183 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:33,450 -- and rather than focusing on the differences with the followers, 184 00:08:33,610 --> 00:08:36,610 -- leaders focus on ways to build trust and respect with 185 00:08:36,620 --> 00:08:40,159 -- all followers resulting in everyone being in the in group. 186 00:08:40,539 --> 00:08:45,030 -- Right? I think a lot of it comes back to you treat people the way you want to be treated. 187 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:45,670 -- Yeah, 188 00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:47,150 -- I think don't you think 189 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,670 -- I absolutely do think 190 00:08:48,670 --> 00:08:50,280 -- that and then 191 00:08:50,290 --> 00:08:53,460 -- you treat them with a heart of love and that you you see 192 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:57,610 -- look at the way jesus looked at you and you try to do that to them. Hey 193 00:08:57,610 --> 00:08:59,260 -- man that's it. 194 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:00,220 -- You know, 195 00:09:00,220 --> 00:09:04,760 -- I say this a lot of times but I've been in the end group and I've been in the out group 196 00:09:05,140 --> 00:09:08,870 -- and it can be something like maybe you do have a different favorite sports team, 197 00:09:08,870 --> 00:09:11,990 -- maybe maybe you know we're here in Wildcat country, 198 00:09:11,990 --> 00:09:15,440 -- maybe someone supports Duke and suddenly there in the out group for that. 199 00:09:15,450 --> 00:09:20,950 -- Let us -- pray. I 200 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:24,620 -- you mean I have to like do people unfortunately. 201 00:09:24,620 --> 00:09:26,030 -- Yes yes you do, 202 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:28,410 -- I'll do that but not Ohio state and Ohio 203 00:09:28,410 --> 00:09:29,250 -- State are 204 00:09:29,260 --> 00:09:31,450 -- and if you get them all in the end group. 205 00:09:31,460 --> 00:09:34,620 -- Regardless of what team they root for. Your team is going to do better. 206 00:09:34,620 --> 00:09:36,050 -- Your church is gonna do better. 207 00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:37,240 -- Yes, 208 00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:38,260 -- maybe. 209 00:09:38,740 --> 00:09:41,750 -- So. Now how do we use L. M. Max as a leader? 210 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:45,660 -- How do we achieve making the whole group and in group 211 00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:50,200 -- I think I know where you're going. Let's keep running well 212 00:09:50,210 --> 00:09:50,840 -- L. M. X. 213 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:54,870 -- Give us gives us three phases of leadership to achieve this. 214 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,630 -- And when you work through each phase and they go in order. 215 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,150 -- The first phase is the stranger phase. 216 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,670 -- Then you move into the acquaintance phase and 217 00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:05,250 -- then you move into the mature partnership phase. 218 00:10:05,540 --> 00:10:08,060 -- And the idea is once the leader and the follower 219 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,110 -- have a relationship and the mature partnership phase 220 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:12,970 -- then that person is in the in group. 221 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,680 -- Let me say something here chris because I think it's important 222 00:10:15,690 --> 00:10:17,380 -- because I think some people hear that and they go, 223 00:10:17,380 --> 00:10:19,360 -- whoa that means I don't have to know 224 00:10:19,740 --> 00:10:25,550 -- 200 people Chris where he's appointed. He has let's say over 100. 225 00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:28,250 -- Is that fair to say and you can still do it right? 226 00:10:28,340 --> 00:10:29,690 -- I can because I care 227 00:10:29,690 --> 00:10:30,300 -- about them. 228 00:10:30,310 --> 00:10:32,980 -- It's just got to be plugged into your heart. Not in your mind. 229 00:10:32,990 --> 00:10:35,370 -- If you think about people you care about you know them, 230 00:10:35,370 --> 00:10:38,390 -- you usually know their spouse's name, you may know their Children's name, 231 00:10:38,390 --> 00:10:41,820 -- their interests what you have in common, what you don't have in common 232 00:10:41,940 --> 00:10:44,900 -- what makes them tick and it's because you care about them. 233 00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:45,820 -- I love that. 234 00:10:45,830 --> 00:10:49,260 -- Thank you chris that's a that's great insight for us all. 235 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:54,460 -- Thank you very much. I appreciate that. So let's discuss the stranger phase. 236 00:10:54,460 --> 00:10:57,080 -- This is typically when you first meet someone 237 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,350 -- but not always for the leaders out there, 238 00:10:59,350 --> 00:11:01,000 -- especially for the christian leaders. 239 00:11:01,010 --> 00:11:03,260 -- You may have people that are in your out group. 240 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:05,140 -- Well this is how to get them into your in 241 00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:07,260 -- group and you have to start with the stranger face. 242 00:11:07,260 --> 00:11:14,260 -- So but -- this isn't saying stranger danger stranger danger. Thank you. 243 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:15,770 -- Oh no that 244 00:11:15,770 --> 00:11:20,290 -- was a good sound of a perfect stranger danger. 245 00:11:20,510 --> 00:11:22,340 -- Don Sorry. 246 00:11:22,350 --> 00:11:26,660 -- So in the stranger phase the roles are usually scripted. 247 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:31,060 -- The exchanges are low quality like how are you? How was your weekend? 248 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:35,050 -- The influence is one way meaning that the leader influences the 249 00:11:35,050 --> 00:11:38,060 -- follower and the follower has no influence over the leader. 250 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:41,610 -- And in this phase the leader should motivate the follower, 251 00:11:41,620 --> 00:11:45,620 -- using the followers self interest rather than the good of the group. 252 00:11:45,630 --> 00:11:46,150 -- Amen. 253 00:11:46,220 --> 00:11:47,190 -- During this phase, 254 00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:49,730 -- the leader should begin using social interactions with the 255 00:11:49,730 --> 00:11:53,750 -- follower to open up and reveal information about themselves. 256 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:56,960 -- So why do you think that is so hard for people today? 257 00:11:57,540 --> 00:11:59,740 -- That's a very good question. I 258 00:11:59,740 --> 00:12:01,470 -- think I have an answer. And what's that? 259 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:04,650 -- I think we like to be in our own house with our 260 00:12:04,650 --> 00:12:08,760 -- own tv with our own stuff behind her own locked door and 261 00:12:09,140 --> 00:12:13,310 -- we've gotten so private? We forgot what community looks like. 262 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:16,860 -- We forgot what's so right. You know, and and even I'm guilty of this. 263 00:12:16,860 --> 00:12:20,400 -- Sometimes I just want to sit and watch my Tv shows everybody leave me alone. 264 00:12:20,410 --> 00:12:21,820 -- And that's not from God. 265 00:12:21,820 --> 00:12:26,720 -- That's just from what our society is trying to condition us to do in a lot of ways. 266 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:31,090 -- And that's not good for us, healthy for us are healthy for a church, 267 00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:33,530 -- healthy for college, healthy for a 268 00:12:33,530 --> 00:12:34,290 -- workplace. 269 00:12:34,290 --> 00:12:39,510 -- You are so covered. I think you covered issue. There's a lot to 270 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:41,260 -- Yeah, I think so. 271 00:12:41,270 --> 00:12:45,610 -- You got your thinking back. Oh my aching back. 272 00:12:45,620 --> 00:12:49,660 -- So when to the leaders out there, especially christian leaders again, 273 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:53,780 -- when you have people that are in your out group and you're in the stranger phase, 274 00:12:53,790 --> 00:12:57,150 -- it's on you to open up to them share information about them, 275 00:12:57,150 --> 00:13:00,230 -- they may not know and maybe share information that not many people know. 276 00:13:00,230 --> 00:13:02,860 -- That's how you start this foundation of that relationship. 277 00:13:03,540 --> 00:13:04,350 -- And amen. 278 00:13:05,140 --> 00:13:07,400 -- Then we move into the acquaintance phase. 279 00:13:07,410 --> 00:13:11,140 -- The acquaintance phase usually begins with an offer by 280 00:13:11,140 --> 00:13:14,880 -- the leader for improve social and career oriented changes. 281 00:13:14,890 --> 00:13:17,500 -- This could present itself in a way like the leader saying, you know, 282 00:13:17,510 --> 00:13:23,260 -- I have a special job for you or I have something that I only trust you to do. 283 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:26,260 -- That's how you begin to in the acquaintance phase. 284 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:27,810 -- That's good 285 00:13:27,910 --> 00:13:29,380 -- in the acquaintance phase 286 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:33,310 -- the exchanges are medium quality. They're better than hi, how are you? 287 00:13:33,310 --> 00:13:35,120 -- How was your weekend, et cetera? 288 00:13:35,130 --> 00:13:38,180 -- And the leader should motivate the follower using both the 289 00:13:38,180 --> 00:13:40,850 -- followers self interest and the interest of the group. 290 00:13:41,630 --> 00:13:45,800 -- During this time the leadership begin shifting the interactions into new ways of 291 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:49,860 -- relating and the leader should focus on giving greater trust and respect, 292 00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:52,480 -- which will result in the follower having less focus 293 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:55,260 -- on themselves and more focus on the group. 294 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,470 -- And again, this is all on the leader as a leader. 295 00:13:58,470 --> 00:14:00,630 -- It's your job to foster this relationship. 296 00:14:00,630 --> 00:14:03,250 -- You've got to show that respect, give that respect, 297 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:06,680 -- open up, share things with yourself and then give them a challenge, 298 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:09,060 -- something that they can do to show you what they're made of. 299 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:10,420 -- That's amazing. 300 00:14:10,740 --> 00:14:13,260 -- And now we move to the mature partnership 301 00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:17,350 -- in the mature partnership, the influence is reciprocal. 302 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:22,950 -- The follower influences the leader as much as the leader influences. The follower. 303 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:25,660 -- The exchanges are high quality. 304 00:14:26,140 --> 00:14:30,660 -- This is when you genuinely care about someone and it's not just how are you? Fine. 305 00:14:30,660 --> 00:14:34,130 -- How are you? It's hey how you doing, what's going on? Are you okay? 306 00:14:34,130 --> 00:14:36,930 -- Can I help you with something because you care about them? 307 00:14:36,940 --> 00:14:40,150 -- I think when you just someone, you know it's funny like you have, 308 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:43,360 -- you have someone you see and you ask them, how are they? 309 00:14:43,940 --> 00:14:45,970 -- A lot of times? We really don't want to know how they 310 00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:46,240 -- are. 311 00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:46,640 -- You know, 312 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,030 -- you just want to hear fine and that's 313 00:14:48,030 --> 00:14:49,540 -- it and what 314 00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:52,700 -- I've learned that when they say fine back to me, 315 00:14:52,710 --> 00:14:55,060 -- like tell me about it, why is it fine, what's going 316 00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:55,450 -- on? 317 00:14:55,460 --> 00:14:56,490 -- Because you -- care, 318 00:14:56,500 --> 00:15:01,360 -- but you can start figuring out where people come from if you want to and 319 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:05,640 -- a lot of us, we just don't want to do it, we don't have the time for it, 320 00:15:05,650 --> 00:15:12,030 -- we don't have the heart for it and we forget really let me just say this as christians. 321 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,870 -- I think it's one of the things that hurts 322 00:15:13,870 --> 00:15:16,340 -- Christianity the most is that we're not willing to 323 00:15:16,340 --> 00:15:21,730 -- go out and show people the love of jesus through our actions to the way we love them, 324 00:15:21,850 --> 00:15:22,360 -- right? 325 00:15:22,540 --> 00:15:26,160 -- How we're going to have some charge in younger day, 326 00:15:26,740 --> 00:15:28,930 -- come on -- now, you know, 327 00:15:28,940 --> 00:15:32,020 -- I'm thinking about what you said and you said maybe we don't have the time, 328 00:15:32,020 --> 00:15:34,750 -- but really how much time does it take to have a 329 00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:37,860 -- quick conversation with someone and really find out how they're doing. 330 00:15:38,740 --> 00:15:41,860 -- It doesn't take that long. It does not, that's amazing. 331 00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:44,950 -- So back on the mature partnership, 332 00:15:45,340 --> 00:15:48,830 -- the followers interests are the group instead of the self. 333 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:53,360 -- So this personnel is more interested in the group than themselves. 334 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,720 -- They will volunteer for difficult task, 335 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:59,860 -- They will do things they normally wouldn't do because it's all about the group. 336 00:16:00,140 --> 00:16:02,420 -- They have a high degree of mutual trust, 337 00:16:02,430 --> 00:16:04,640 -- respect and obligation between the leader 338 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:08,560 -- and follower and attested and dependable relationship 339 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:14,180 -- and they may even depend on favors for each other and with a mature partnership, 340 00:16:14,180 --> 00:16:17,470 -- you have a much more favorable outcome for the leader? 341 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,930 -- The follower and the organization. You 342 00:16:20,930 --> 00:16:22,300 -- go, it's good stuff. 343 00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:23,330 -- That is good stuff. 344 00:16:23,340 --> 00:16:25,800 -- Think about the people that you have worked with Dave, 345 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:28,460 -- that you have a tested dependable relationship. 346 00:16:28,460 --> 00:16:30,590 -- You know, you can count on them because you have in the 347 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,160 -- past, right? And 348 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:39,640 -- the good news about that is um, once you receive that kind of friend, it just, 349 00:16:39,650 --> 00:16:41,190 -- it balances itself out. 350 00:16:41,190 --> 00:16:43,560 -- You take care of each other. You look out for one another. 351 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:44,250 -- Um, 352 00:16:44,260 --> 00:16:47,070 -- I think it's essential as we get to know people 353 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,040 -- that we try to understand where they're coming from. 354 00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:50,510 -- You know, it's easy to say, 355 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,930 -- I can't stand that person to you find out that that person 356 00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:55,770 -- is dealing with cancer or that person is dealing with something else. 357 00:16:55,840 --> 00:17:00,210 -- You have to look at the person as a person who needs, jesus. 358 00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:05,040 -- Absolutely or already has them praise God and you both can praise him together. 359 00:17:05,050 --> 00:17:08,170 -- Can praise him together. That's and that's the great way to do that. 360 00:17:08,180 --> 00:17:09,849 -- That's, that's truly wonderful. 361 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:14,359 -- So here's some advantages of L. M. X. Leader membership exchange. 362 00:17:14,740 --> 00:17:19,950 -- L. M X applies to all levels of management. You can be the entry level manager. 363 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,880 -- You can be the ceo of the organization. L. M. X. 364 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,170 -- Applies to anyone in leadership anywhere. 365 00:17:25,839 --> 00:17:30,060 -- You can be an usher in the church, you can be a pastor in the church. L. M. X. Applies. 366 00:17:30,070 --> 00:17:35,460 -- Amen L. M. X. Applies to all organizations including volunteers. 367 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:39,950 -- Have you ever tried to give orders? Of course you have to a group of volunteers. 368 00:17:39,950 --> 00:17:41,180 -- It doesn't go very well. 369 00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:45,120 -- Yeah. Well that's because you can cut their pay. 370 00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:49,460 -- You can't you can't cut their pay. 371 00:17:49,460 --> 00:17:50,180 -- That's, you know, 372 00:17:50,180 --> 00:17:52,480 -- and I think with volunteer work that's a hard 373 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,950 -- thing because one of the first things I learned, 374 00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:57,750 -- sometimes a volunteer may not be in the right place. 375 00:17:57,750 --> 00:18:01,060 -- So how do you fire that volunteer because they're volunteering but 376 00:18:01,060 --> 00:18:02,980 -- also trying to make sure they get put in a place. 377 00:18:02,990 --> 00:18:06,340 -- Don't take someone out of something till you find something else to put them in. 378 00:18:06,340 --> 00:18:08,900 -- Amen to that anyway. That didn't really apply to this. 379 00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:09,450 -- But I thought it's 380 00:18:09,450 --> 00:18:11,310 -- good advice. But L. M. X. 381 00:18:11,310 --> 00:18:14,710 -- Is one of the only leadership principles that applies to volunteers. 382 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:18,450 -- And again, it's just you have to develop a caring relationship with them. 383 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:20,720 -- Another good thing about L. M. X. 384 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:24,450 -- Is it forces the leaders to re evaluate how they see their team. 385 00:18:24,460 --> 00:18:27,720 -- This is entirely on the leader. The leader can't say that. 386 00:18:27,730 --> 00:18:30,590 -- I don't get along with that person for any reason 387 00:18:30,590 --> 00:18:33,210 -- because the leader has to get along with that person. 388 00:18:33,220 --> 00:18:34,780 -- That's right for sure. 389 00:18:34,790 --> 00:18:36,800 -- And the last of the advantages of L. M. X. 390 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:40,560 -- Is it sensitizes managers to how in groups and out groups develop 391 00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:43,640 -- out groups can develop without even noticing and 392 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:46,880 -- after time goes by they become more disenfranchised 393 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:50,200 -- and they move further away from the team they show up and they do their work, 394 00:18:50,210 --> 00:18:52,780 -- they don't speak to anyone and they go home but the 395 00:18:52,780 --> 00:18:55,590 -- team is losing so many valuable resources in that person. 396 00:18:55,590 --> 00:18:56,430 -- When that happens 397 00:18:56,430 --> 00:18:59,060 -- right. The term we used to use, they don't have any skin in it. 398 00:18:59,340 --> 00:19:02,060 -- Exactly. They haven't been able to put that that 399 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:05,670 -- that effort in there. It's just like a like a sporting team. 400 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,680 -- You know you got the first team in the second team 401 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,580 -- but the second teams part good because they make the first team 402 00:19:11,580 --> 00:19:14,750 -- better and when they when they make that you know I'm 403 00:19:14,750 --> 00:19:18,340 -- not here just to start I'm here to make an impact. 404 00:19:18,340 --> 00:19:21,040 -- You can do that wherever God puts you even fish 405 00:19:21,140 --> 00:19:23,710 -- safety and you're way too heavy and you don't think 406 00:19:23,710 --> 00:19:25,370 -- you can do it is on the football team, 407 00:19:25,370 --> 00:19:26,770 -- you can still do it because 408 00:19:27,540 --> 00:19:32,490 -- you're working towards what you need to be. Amen. I don't even know that no 409 00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:33,050 -- good. 410 00:19:33,060 --> 00:19:35,860 -- That was really good and I hadn't thought of this being 411 00:19:35,860 --> 00:19:38,960 -- applicable to sports teams but you played sports growing up. 412 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,250 -- I played sports growing up. 413 00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:43,170 -- Think about the people on your sports team that you knew you could count on, 414 00:19:43,170 --> 00:19:45,950 -- you knew you could trust that's when you have the best teams. 415 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:47,640 -- Absolutely. Absolutely. 416 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:51,790 -- It's well and it's you know a lot of that develops over playing a lot 417 00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:52,540 -- of games together 418 00:19:52,550 --> 00:19:54,730 -- and that's the only way you got to get that relationship. 419 00:19:54,730 --> 00:19:54,910 Some 420 00:19:54,910 --> 00:19:57,770 -- of the best teams are the teams that have been put together for a long 421 00:19:57,770 --> 00:19:58,850 time 422 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:02,660 -- because you've got that trusted returned dependable relationship. 423 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:06,570 -- So let's talk about the disadvantages of L. M. X. And there's not many L. M. X. 424 00:20:06,570 --> 00:20:09,270 -- Is really one of my favorite modes of leadership. 425 00:20:09,740 --> 00:20:13,720 -- The first is employees differ in their abilities and trustworthiness. 426 00:20:13,730 --> 00:20:17,360 -- Sometimes you may have someone who's just not trustworthy, 427 00:20:17,370 --> 00:20:21,380 -- they could have an addiction or they could have anything else where you 428 00:20:21,390 --> 00:20:25,400 -- keep putting trust in them and they just they're not a trustworthy person. 429 00:20:25,410 --> 00:20:28,850 -- And that's I mean and I think that happens a lot because we 430 00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:31,960 -- we put ourselves out there and then we we get hurt, 431 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:34,820 -- hurt people, hurt people 432 00:20:34,830 --> 00:20:37,800 -- that I love that, that's a beautiful thing. 433 00:20:37,810 --> 00:20:43,360 -- So that that's what happens when we get hurt and we hurt others. And so 434 00:20:43,740 --> 00:20:49,350 -- um you do need to evaluate it, you need to be careful but you also need to be okay 435 00:20:49,740 --> 00:20:54,360 -- telling somebody who you are and you know, you just gotta open up me, you 436 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,200 -- that's hard, this is harder than I would think. 437 00:20:57,210 --> 00:20:58,710 -- You said it. 438 00:20:58,710 --> 00:21:01,930 -- All right there, open up and be you and that's hard. 439 00:21:01,940 --> 00:21:03,560 -- That's really hard. 440 00:21:04,140 --> 00:21:06,230 -- But it pays off and it gets the results. 441 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:11,490 -- Amen, I've always said the goal to this life is loving, jesus, Amen. 442 00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:15,940 -- Amen being the authentic self that he created you to be, 443 00:21:15,950 --> 00:21:20,590 -- don't try to be what anyone else is try to be who God made you. 444 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:21,270 -- Amen. 445 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,670 -- Here's the last disadvantage of L. M. X. There was only two 446 00:21:24,940 --> 00:21:26,050 -- and think about this one, 447 00:21:26,540 --> 00:21:31,120 -- it inadvertently supports the development of privileged groups in the workplace. 448 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:35,610 -- If you have an in group and an out group in the in group is a privileged group, 449 00:21:35,620 --> 00:21:38,150 -- but the goal of the leaders to get everyone into that 450 00:21:38,150 --> 00:21:38,600 -- group. 451 00:21:38,610 --> 00:21:44,100 -- And here's the thing, if it's if you're under that group that's that's your group, 452 00:21:44,110 --> 00:21:46,660 -- that's who, that's who you belong to, that's my tribe 453 00:21:46,940 --> 00:21:51,680 -- and Exactly, so that's the case and I think I think you're okay when you, 454 00:21:51,690 --> 00:21:55,130 -- when you keep that circle with who you are and what you 455 00:21:55,130 --> 00:21:58,380 -- do with the people that you work for whatever work with. 456 00:21:58,390 --> 00:22:00,320 -- Absolutely. So what did you think of L. M. X. 457 00:22:00,330 --> 00:22:05,280 -- I -- thought it was very good and the only thing um again with it being thanksgiving, 458 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:08,360 -- I thought of some stuff that can kind of coincide with that and 459 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:12,670 -- and that's really you have to have a thankful heart colossians 2 67. 460 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:17,350 -- So then just as you received christ jesus Lord continue to live, 461 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:22,580 -- live your lives in him rooted and built up in him, 462 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,860 -- strengthened in the faith that as you were taught 463 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:29,800 -- and overflowing with thankfulness, it's beautiful. 464 00:22:29,810 --> 00:22:33,700 -- So I have to have a heart that just is over, 465 00:22:33,710 --> 00:22:37,420 -- you know how I'm gonna like people when I'm okay with me and, 466 00:22:37,430 --> 00:22:41,870 -- and being okay with me means I'm thankful for God created me 467 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,670 -- as crazy and weird and awkward as I know I am. 468 00:22:45,740 --> 00:22:51,540 -- God made me this way and it's not an excuse, it's for real. Amen. 469 00:22:51,550 --> 00:22:56,260 -- I'm good with the, I love the way guy, I don't think the way other people think, 470 00:22:56,270 --> 00:23:00,770 -- Trust me, just ask my wife, here we go, praise the Lord. 471 00:23:01,140 --> 00:23:03,450 -- I think I'll be a 472 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,920 -- now I'm gonna try to get back to a serious thought. 473 00:23:07,930 --> 00:23:12,270 -- A couple more things Thessalonians give thanks in all circumstances 474 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,890 -- for this is God's will for you in christ jesus, 475 00:23:14,900 --> 00:23:18,630 -- you start working with people when you're thankful for who they are and 476 00:23:18,630 --> 00:23:21,560 -- you start the only way you can be thankful for who they are, 477 00:23:21,740 --> 00:23:23,330 -- you got to find out who they are, 478 00:23:23,450 --> 00:23:27,690 -- which is kind of what we've been talking about and I get the other stuff. 479 00:23:27,700 --> 00:23:29,710 -- But I think this is, I think it's important. 480 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:35,360 -- One of my favorite quotes is by a, a milne and um, it's Winnie the pooh, 481 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:36,690 -- that great theologian. 482 00:23:36,700 --> 00:23:39,990 -- It's the great theologian. I thought that was funnier than you did. 483 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:45,560 -- Okay Piglets noticed that even though he had a very small heart, 484 00:23:45,570 --> 00:23:47,360 -- it could be rather large 485 00:23:47,740 --> 00:23:52,900 -- amount of gratitude, let's be thankful this week, not just this week, 486 00:23:52,900 --> 00:23:56,860 -- let's try to put it on for the rest of the month, wait a minute, it's almost over. 487 00:23:56,860 --> 00:24:01,430 -- Let's try even around christmas time to be thankful to love people the way 488 00:24:01,430 --> 00:24:05,280 -- you want to be loved and to remind yourself that jesus loves you, 489 00:24:05,290 --> 00:24:05,990 -- Amen. 490 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,770 -- Don't forget that 491 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:11,770 -- we're so thankful that you let us uh talk to you. 492 00:24:11,780 --> 00:24:16,820 -- Um I think those who asked where we were, we're back and if we can do anything, 493 00:24:16,820 --> 00:24:19,580 -- if we can minister to you, make sure you check out our website, 494 00:24:19,580 --> 00:24:20,010 chris 495 00:24:20,010 --> 00:24:20,970 -- lead 12 12 dot 496 00:24:20,970 --> 00:24:21,470 -- com. 497 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,670 -- We'd love to interact with you, 498 00:24:23,670 --> 00:24:27,060 -- we'd love there's some stuff there that you can interact with, 499 00:24:27,070 --> 00:24:31,350 -- we'd love to see you there, we hope you guys have a wonderful Turkey Day, 500 00:24:31,540 --> 00:24:36,840 -- thanksgiving and we know that God will bless you and at first anything we can do, 501 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:39,760 -- please allow us that blessing have a great week, 502 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:46,280 -- this is an lbs production which stands for pounds, 503 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:47,330 -- I don't know if you knew that or not, 504 00:24:47,330 --> 00:24:52,970 -- but it also stands for laughing because we're saved but we kind of like the pounds so 505 00:24:52,980 --> 00:24:57,680 -- um chris will lift them and I will gain them and we will have a great time. 506 00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:58,450 -- Thanks for listening. 507 00:24:59,440 --> 00:24:59,670 Mhm

Have you ever been on a team where the leader had a better relationship with some team members than others?  Have you ever considered why you lack confidence in certain team members? Whether right or wrong, do you allow your distrust of them or the belief that they are unreliable to influence your interactions with them? Do you withhold opportunities that could help them grow and succeed, even subconsciously?

LMX states that leaders should develop a high-quality relationship with ALL the followers rather than just a few.  The Leaders should nurture high-quality exchanges with ALL followers (and not only those with the same interests as the leader). 

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