Transcription:
0 00:00:02,540 --> 00:00:02,740 -- Yeah.1 00:00:08,540 --> 00:00:08,750 -- Mhm.2 00:00:17,540 --> 00:00:24,430 -- This is lead 12 12 a podcast on christ centered leadership based on romans.3 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:29,750 -- 12 12 rejoice in hope, be patient tribulation, be constant in prayer.4 00:00:30,140 --> 00:00:32,860 -- Thanks for listening. Here's Dave and chris5 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:35,860 -- hey everybody, we're back.6 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:41,790 -- Yeah, did you miss this? Come on, it's okay to say you did we We missed you guys.7 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:45,350 -- Thanks for listening today. Thanks for hanging out with us.8 00:00:45,350 --> 00:00:48,670 -- We're excited to see what God's gonna do each time we9 00:00:48,670 --> 00:00:51,000 -- get behind here and talk to you and share with you.10 00:00:51,010 --> 00:00:56,250 -- David Jeremiah said this no matter what our circumstance, we can find a reason11 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:57,660 -- to be thankful.12 00:00:58,140 --> 00:00:59,850 -- So it's thanksgiving week,13 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,190 -- there's always a reason to be thankful.14 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:02,620 -- Yeah.15 00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:05,610 -- And I think honestly in leadership you need16 00:01:05,610 --> 00:01:08,040 -- to be thankful for who you're working with.17 00:01:08,050 --> 00:01:12,160 -- You need to be thankful for your family that supports you in your leadership.18 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:16,200 -- Absolutely. And you need to be thankful that God put you in a role of leadership.19 00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:16,760 -- Yes.20 00:01:16,770 --> 00:01:18,820 -- You know those attitudes start at the top21 00:01:18,820 --> 00:01:22,410 -- to -- gratefulness is something that I think we need22 00:01:22,410 --> 00:01:27,080 -- more and more sermons on and we need more and more um life application for23 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:27,420 -- that.24 00:01:27,430 --> 00:01:30,700 -- Yes. Absolutely. Yeah, that's really the time of year for that to a25 00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:31,130 -- man.26 00:01:31,140 --> 00:01:32,940 -- So we're talking about today chris dave,27 00:01:32,940 --> 00:01:35,960 -- we're talking about leader Member exchange theory is called L.28 00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:38,720 -- M. X. And this is very widely spread.29 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,740 -- This is one of the better theories and something that I30 00:01:40,740 --> 00:01:42,910 -- use all the time and and just by knowing you,31 00:01:42,910 --> 00:01:44,860 -- I know that you use it all the time too?32 00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:46,540 -- Let me ask you a question.33 00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:48,320 -- Have you ever been on a team where the leader34 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:51,170 -- had a better relationship with some team members than others?35 00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:52,750 -- Sure. -- Absolutely.36 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:54,160 -- Have you ever had one where the leader37 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,320 -- has a very positive relationship with some people38 00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:58,170 -- on the team and then maybe a negative39 00:01:58,170 --> 00:02:00,580 -- relationship with other people on the same team?40 00:02:00,590 --> 00:02:02,470 -- Absolutely. Even teachers.41 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:04,350 -- Oh, that's that's a good thought.42 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:08,389 -- Do you believe this affected not only the growth of the team but also the growth.43 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,750 -- I'm sorry, the growth of those team members?44 00:02:10,759 --> 00:02:11,700 -- Absolutely.45 00:02:11,700 --> 00:02:14,130 -- And again, back to our model. Just think about it.46 00:02:14,130 --> 00:02:17,730 -- You you wanted to learn from a teacher that thought you were important.47 00:02:17,740 --> 00:02:21,130 -- If that wasn't the case, you weren't, you weren't as bought in.48 00:02:21,140 --> 00:02:24,950 -- That's -- absolutely right. So that works perfect. That's an excellent point.49 00:02:25,940 --> 00:02:27,240 -- We know that as a leader,50 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:30,660 -- it's not always suitable to treat every member of your team equally.51 00:02:30,670 --> 00:02:31,510 -- For example,52 00:02:31,510 --> 00:02:33,030 -- you probably have team members with whom you53 00:02:33,030 --> 00:02:35,240 -- have a positive relationship and you trust them.54 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:38,700 -- They work diligently. They've never let you down to you.55 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,730 -- These team members are priceless and maybe you make56 00:02:40,730 --> 00:02:43,320 -- an extra effort to assign them challenging projects.57 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:44,450 -- You ever done that?58 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:46,460 -- I have? Absolutely.59 00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:47,620 -- What about the opposite?60 00:02:47,630 --> 00:02:50,950 -- You ever had people on your team that you may regard less favorably.61 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:54,240 -- They may lack the long term career goals or maybe the less competent62 00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:56,440 -- and you just don't trust them as much63 00:02:56,450 --> 00:02:58,150 -- as I'd like to say?64 00:02:58,150 --> 00:03:00,050 -- No, but I'm sure that I have,65 00:03:00,140 --> 00:03:01,330 -- it's human nature66 00:03:01,540 --> 00:03:04,540 -- and what happens is these people get assigned the routine task and67 00:03:04,540 --> 00:03:08,120 -- they're not really considered for promotions or even challenging task at times.68 00:03:08,130 --> 00:03:08,840 -- Amen.69 00:03:08,950 --> 00:03:09,760 -- There you go.70 00:03:09,770 --> 00:03:12,060 -- Have you ever considered or ask yourself why71 00:03:12,060 --> 00:03:14,560 -- you lack confidence in these team members?72 00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:19,460 -- Well, sure. I think well have you, that's the case.73 00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:21,540 -- We need to encourage people to do that.74 00:03:21,540 --> 00:03:25,010 -- You absolutely do need to and whether it's right or wrong,75 00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:27,610 -- do you allow the distrust of them or the belief76 00:03:27,610 --> 00:03:30,740 -- that they're unreliable to influence your interactions with them?77 00:03:30,750 --> 00:03:32,340 -- Yeah, of course you do. Do you.78 00:03:32,340 --> 00:03:35,300 -- Withhold opportunities that could help them grow and succeed.79 00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:36,960 -- Maybe even subconsciously.80 00:03:37,340 --> 00:03:38,150 -- Absolutely.81 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:41,150 -- That's where L. M. X. Comes in. Leader member exchange.82 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:42,220 -- L. M. X.83 00:03:42,220 --> 00:03:45,960 -- Delves into how leaders develop relationships with the team members and how84 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:50,190 -- those relationships can either help team members or hold back team members.85 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,160 -- Can I say something really? Absolutely.86 00:03:52,170 --> 00:03:52,590 -- You know,87 00:03:52,590 --> 00:03:54,830 -- the more I hear this the more I think this88 00:03:54,830 --> 00:03:57,780 -- is so applicable to the pastors that are listening.89 00:03:57,790 --> 00:04:03,160 -- I'm sure we need to know our country. Here we go, thank you. We need to know our church.90 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,840 -- We need to know the people that go there now.91 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,860 -- It's hard and I know if you get big numbers,92 00:04:06,870 --> 00:04:09,200 -- I hear that and you start small and then you go out.93 00:04:09,210 --> 00:04:12,270 -- But I still think it's important that you care.94 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:13,840 -- People don't know how much you care to.95 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:17,870 -- The people don't know how much you care till they know, I can't get it right now.96 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,160 -- You know, the one trying to get, I think so,97 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:22,860 -- people don't care how much, you know, do they know how much you98 00:04:22,860 --> 00:04:23,920 -- care? There we go.99 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:24,850 -- That's it.100 00:04:24,860 --> 00:04:27,410 -- I'm a speech major Ladies and gentlemen, Dave scott, Thank you.101 00:04:27,420 --> 00:04:31,000 -- Thank you. Thank you.102 00:04:31,010 --> 00:04:35,450 -- I don't know if you'll hear this or not, you may get re edited, but hey,103 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:37,160 -- here we are.104 00:04:37,540 --> 00:04:39,220 -- Okay.105 00:04:39,220 --> 00:04:44,660 -- All right, back on L M X L M X was first proposed in a seminar by fred dance hero,106 00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:48,600 -- George grain and William Hague away back in 1975.107 00:04:48,610 --> 00:04:50,530 -- And it focuses on the relationship that108 00:04:50,530 --> 00:04:53,260 -- develops between managers and team members.109 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:57,890 -- A great many team leaders use L. M. X as the primary leadership style.110 00:04:57,900 --> 00:04:58,930 -- Like I said, I do.111 00:04:58,930 --> 00:05:03,630 -- I know you do another famous person who uses this is sooner pitch I he's the ceo112 00:05:03,630 --> 00:05:08,250 -- of google and he has a lot of belief in this and this is his management style.113 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:13,810 -- All right. And you said his name right too. I think so. Let's hope you114 00:05:13,810 --> 00:05:14,270 -- out there.115 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:17,870 -- You know what my trick is on names like that.116 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:22,130 -- Like bible names that may confuse you say. I'm really fast. Not117 00:05:22,140 --> 00:05:23,430 -- give me an example.118 00:05:23,610 --> 00:05:26,390 -- Well, let's think of a name. It's hard to say.119 00:05:26,390 --> 00:05:30,400 -- And uh, I can't think of anybody like there is a name in the bible.120 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,820 -- It's I th e l now it can go either way.121 00:05:33,830 --> 00:05:36,660 -- It kind of looks like it'll, but I think it's pronounced Isil,122 00:05:36,710 --> 00:05:41,360 -- I heard a guy say no one knew what he really,123 00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:45,560 -- I was like you say, I thought or ethyl no one knew because he just124 00:05:45,940 --> 00:05:47,040 -- blew through it.125 00:05:47,050 --> 00:05:48,410 -- But you got the idea126 00:05:48,410 --> 00:05:50,760 -- what was going on.127 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:52,220 -- Here we go.128 00:05:52,230 --> 00:05:53,300 -- Sorry guys,129 00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:56,800 -- we get off on tangents and I haven't been behind the bike for a few minutes,130 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,960 -- so thanks for putting up with us today.131 00:05:58,970 --> 00:06:01,760 -- Well, -- I'm glad that you're back though have really been missed.132 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,760 -- We'll see how long that last.133 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:10,370 -- Okay, alright, jumping back on L. M X. One of the critical concepts of L. M.134 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:14,660 -- X is the concept of in group and out group followers.135 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:20,230 -- What this says is essentially every team is made up of two smaller teams,136 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,960 -- the in group and also the out group.137 00:06:23,540 --> 00:06:25,540 -- Now the end group has more influence,138 00:06:25,550 --> 00:06:29,920 -- more confidence and receives more concerned from the leader.139 00:06:29,930 --> 00:06:34,360 -- This concern can be well being or just general communications.140 00:06:34,940 --> 00:06:37,070 -- The end group is generally more dependable,141 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:40,250 -- more involved and more communicative than the out group.142 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:45,470 -- Excuse me, the out group is usually less compatible with the leader.143 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:50,850 -- They may not have the same interest. They may not enjoy the same sports teams.144 00:06:50,850 --> 00:06:54,560 -- It can be any reason that mentally the leader put someone in an out group145 00:06:54,940 --> 00:06:59,770 -- and the out group usually just comes to work, does their job and go home.146 00:06:59,780 --> 00:07:02,460 -- Dave, have you ever been on the in group or an out group?147 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:04,200 -- Yeah. Absolutely.148 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:08,660 -- I think every one of us has and you know, there's many different models, you know,149 00:07:08,660 --> 00:07:11,360 -- whether it's at a church or it's at your work or150 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:14,810 -- even if it's at the school that you attend or college,151 00:07:14,820 --> 00:07:16,660 -- I think we've all experienced that.152 00:07:16,660 --> 00:07:17,350 -- And I think153 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:19,850 -- if we've experienced it,154 00:07:19,850 --> 00:07:22,910 -- we need to make sure we remember it because we need to155 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:25,410 -- understand that we could do this in such a better way.156 00:07:25,410 --> 00:07:26,780 -- If we learn from our mistakes,157 00:07:26,790 --> 00:07:27,990 -- you're absolutely right.158 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,450 -- And let me ask you another question,159 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:34,370 -- how did it affect your performance if you're in an in group versus an out group?160 00:07:34,380 --> 00:07:38,180 -- I'm sure you're more lazy, you're not trying to, it doesn't matter,161 00:07:38,190 --> 00:07:40,520 -- you get it done when you get it done kind of thing.162 00:07:40,530 --> 00:07:42,460 -- That that's not the attitude,163 00:07:42,460 --> 00:07:45,440 -- you want to have an attitude that you want your best foot forward,164 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:47,260 -- you're giving everything 100%165 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:50,350 -- if you don't believe in the person you're working for, why do you make them look good?166 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:51,690 -- Absolutely, right.167 00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:55,650 -- Can you imagine if the whole team was an in group where everyone has the same goals,168 00:07:55,650 --> 00:07:56,570 -- they have trust,169 00:07:56,570 --> 00:07:59,260 -- they have that relationship and they're pushing really hard all170 00:07:59,260 --> 00:07:59,840 -- together.171 00:07:59,850 --> 00:08:01,570 -- Can you imagine if a church had172 00:08:01,570 --> 00:08:03,960 -- that, that that would be truly amazing.173 00:08:03,970 --> 00:08:05,910 -- That would be the church that jesus died for.174 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,760 -- Yes, it is. That's well put, I love that.175 00:08:10,340 --> 00:08:11,940 -- Okay back to L. M. X. L. M. X.176 00:08:11,940 --> 00:08:14,960 -- States that leaders should develop a high quality relationship177 00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:16,770 -- with all the followers178 00:08:16,980 --> 00:08:18,360 -- rather than just a few,179 00:08:18,740 --> 00:08:22,180 -- the leaders should nurture a high quality exchange with all180 00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:25,180 -- followers and not just those with the same interests.181 00:08:25,190 --> 00:08:27,640 -- So it's on the leader to form this relationship,182 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,050 -- it's not on the follower to form this relationship183 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:33,450 -- and rather than focusing on the differences with the followers,184 00:08:33,610 --> 00:08:36,610 -- leaders focus on ways to build trust and respect with185 00:08:36,620 --> 00:08:40,159 -- all followers resulting in everyone being in the in group.186 00:08:40,539 --> 00:08:45,030 -- Right? I think a lot of it comes back to you treat people the way you want to be treated.187 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:45,670 -- Yeah,188 00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:47,150 -- I think don't you think189 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,670 -- I absolutely do think190 00:08:48,670 --> 00:08:50,280 -- that and then191 00:08:50,290 --> 00:08:53,460 -- you treat them with a heart of love and that you you see192 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:57,610 -- look at the way jesus looked at you and you try to do that to them. Hey193 00:08:57,610 --> 00:08:59,260 -- man that's it.194 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:00,220 -- You know,195 00:09:00,220 --> 00:09:04,760 -- I say this a lot of times but I've been in the end group and I've been in the out group196 00:09:05,140 --> 00:09:08,870 -- and it can be something like maybe you do have a different favorite sports team,197 00:09:08,870 --> 00:09:11,990 -- maybe maybe you know we're here in Wildcat country,198 00:09:11,990 --> 00:09:15,440 -- maybe someone supports Duke and suddenly there in the out group for that.199 00:09:15,450 --> 00:09:20,950 -- Let us -- pray. I200 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:24,620 -- you mean I have to like do people unfortunately.201 00:09:24,620 --> 00:09:26,030 -- Yes yes you do,202 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:28,410 -- I'll do that but not Ohio state and Ohio203 00:09:28,410 --> 00:09:29,250 -- State are204 00:09:29,260 --> 00:09:31,450 -- and if you get them all in the end group.205 00:09:31,460 --> 00:09:34,620 -- Regardless of what team they root for. Your team is going to do better.206 00:09:34,620 --> 00:09:36,050 -- Your church is gonna do better.207 00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:37,240 -- Yes,208 00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:38,260 -- maybe.209 00:09:38,740 --> 00:09:41,750 -- So. Now how do we use L. M. Max as a leader?210 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:45,660 -- How do we achieve making the whole group and in group211 00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:50,200 -- I think I know where you're going. Let's keep running well212 00:09:50,210 --> 00:09:50,840 -- L. M. X.213 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:54,870 -- Give us gives us three phases of leadership to achieve this.214 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,630 -- And when you work through each phase and they go in order.215 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,150 -- The first phase is the stranger phase.216 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,670 -- Then you move into the acquaintance phase and217 00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:05,250 -- then you move into the mature partnership phase.218 00:10:05,540 --> 00:10:08,060 -- And the idea is once the leader and the follower219 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,110 -- have a relationship and the mature partnership phase220 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:12,970 -- then that person is in the in group.221 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,680 -- Let me say something here chris because I think it's important222 00:10:15,690 --> 00:10:17,380 -- because I think some people hear that and they go,223 00:10:17,380 --> 00:10:19,360 -- whoa that means I don't have to know224 00:10:19,740 --> 00:10:25,550 -- 200 people Chris where he's appointed. He has let's say over 100.225 00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:28,250 -- Is that fair to say and you can still do it right?226 00:10:28,340 --> 00:10:29,690 -- I can because I care227 00:10:29,690 --> 00:10:30,300 -- about them.228 00:10:30,310 --> 00:10:32,980 -- It's just got to be plugged into your heart. Not in your mind.229 00:10:32,990 --> 00:10:35,370 -- If you think about people you care about you know them,230 00:10:35,370 --> 00:10:38,390 -- you usually know their spouse's name, you may know their Children's name,231 00:10:38,390 --> 00:10:41,820 -- their interests what you have in common, what you don't have in common232 00:10:41,940 --> 00:10:44,900 -- what makes them tick and it's because you care about them.233 00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:45,820 -- I love that.234 00:10:45,830 --> 00:10:49,260 -- Thank you chris that's a that's great insight for us all.235 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:54,460 -- Thank you very much. I appreciate that. So let's discuss the stranger phase.236 00:10:54,460 --> 00:10:57,080 -- This is typically when you first meet someone237 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,350 -- but not always for the leaders out there,238 00:10:59,350 --> 00:11:01,000 -- especially for the christian leaders.239 00:11:01,010 --> 00:11:03,260 -- You may have people that are in your out group.240 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:05,140 -- Well this is how to get them into your in241 00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:07,260 -- group and you have to start with the stranger face.242 00:11:07,260 --> 00:11:14,260 -- So but -- this isn't saying stranger danger stranger danger. Thank you.243 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:15,770 -- Oh no that244 00:11:15,770 --> 00:11:20,290 -- was a good sound of a perfect stranger danger.245 00:11:20,510 --> 00:11:22,340 -- Don Sorry.246 00:11:22,350 --> 00:11:26,660 -- So in the stranger phase the roles are usually scripted.247 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:31,060 -- The exchanges are low quality like how are you? How was your weekend?248 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:35,050 -- The influence is one way meaning that the leader influences the249 00:11:35,050 --> 00:11:38,060 -- follower and the follower has no influence over the leader.250 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:41,610 -- And in this phase the leader should motivate the follower,251 00:11:41,620 --> 00:11:45,620 -- using the followers self interest rather than the good of the group.252 00:11:45,630 --> 00:11:46,150 -- Amen.253 00:11:46,220 --> 00:11:47,190 -- During this phase,254 00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:49,730 -- the leader should begin using social interactions with the255 00:11:49,730 --> 00:11:53,750 -- follower to open up and reveal information about themselves.256 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:56,960 -- So why do you think that is so hard for people today?257 00:11:57,540 --> 00:11:59,740 -- That's a very good question. I258 00:11:59,740 --> 00:12:01,470 -- think I have an answer. And what's that?259 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:04,650 -- I think we like to be in our own house with our260 00:12:04,650 --> 00:12:08,760 -- own tv with our own stuff behind her own locked door and261 00:12:09,140 --> 00:12:13,310 -- we've gotten so private? We forgot what community looks like.262 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:16,860 -- We forgot what's so right. You know, and and even I'm guilty of this.263 00:12:16,860 --> 00:12:20,400 -- Sometimes I just want to sit and watch my Tv shows everybody leave me alone.264 00:12:20,410 --> 00:12:21,820 -- And that's not from God.265 00:12:21,820 --> 00:12:26,720 -- That's just from what our society is trying to condition us to do in a lot of ways.266 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:31,090 -- And that's not good for us, healthy for us are healthy for a church,267 00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:33,530 -- healthy for college, healthy for a268 00:12:33,530 --> 00:12:34,290 -- workplace.269 00:12:34,290 --> 00:12:39,510 -- You are so covered. I think you covered issue. There's a lot to270 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:41,260 -- Yeah, I think so.271 00:12:41,270 --> 00:12:45,610 -- You got your thinking back. Oh my aching back.272 00:12:45,620 --> 00:12:49,660 -- So when to the leaders out there, especially christian leaders again,273 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:53,780 -- when you have people that are in your out group and you're in the stranger phase,274 00:12:53,790 --> 00:12:57,150 -- it's on you to open up to them share information about them,275 00:12:57,150 --> 00:13:00,230 -- they may not know and maybe share information that not many people know.276 00:13:00,230 --> 00:13:02,860 -- That's how you start this foundation of that relationship.277 00:13:03,540 --> 00:13:04,350 -- And amen.278 00:13:05,140 --> 00:13:07,400 -- Then we move into the acquaintance phase.279 00:13:07,410 --> 00:13:11,140 -- The acquaintance phase usually begins with an offer by280 00:13:11,140 --> 00:13:14,880 -- the leader for improve social and career oriented changes.281 00:13:14,890 --> 00:13:17,500 -- This could present itself in a way like the leader saying, you know,282 00:13:17,510 --> 00:13:23,260 -- I have a special job for you or I have something that I only trust you to do.283 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:26,260 -- That's how you begin to in the acquaintance phase.284 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:27,810 -- That's good285 00:13:27,910 --> 00:13:29,380 -- in the acquaintance phase286 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:33,310 -- the exchanges are medium quality. They're better than hi, how are you?287 00:13:33,310 --> 00:13:35,120 -- How was your weekend, et cetera?288 00:13:35,130 --> 00:13:38,180 -- And the leader should motivate the follower using both the289 00:13:38,180 --> 00:13:40,850 -- followers self interest and the interest of the group.290 00:13:41,630 --> 00:13:45,800 -- During this time the leadership begin shifting the interactions into new ways of291 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:49,860 -- relating and the leader should focus on giving greater trust and respect,292 00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:52,480 -- which will result in the follower having less focus293 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:55,260 -- on themselves and more focus on the group.294 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,470 -- And again, this is all on the leader as a leader.295 00:13:58,470 --> 00:14:00,630 -- It's your job to foster this relationship.296 00:14:00,630 --> 00:14:03,250 -- You've got to show that respect, give that respect,297 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:06,680 -- open up, share things with yourself and then give them a challenge,298 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:09,060 -- something that they can do to show you what they're made of.299 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:10,420 -- That's amazing.300 00:14:10,740 --> 00:14:13,260 -- And now we move to the mature partnership301 00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:17,350 -- in the mature partnership, the influence is reciprocal.302 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:22,950 -- The follower influences the leader as much as the leader influences. The follower.303 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:25,660 -- The exchanges are high quality.304 00:14:26,140 --> 00:14:30,660 -- This is when you genuinely care about someone and it's not just how are you? Fine.305 00:14:30,660 --> 00:14:34,130 -- How are you? It's hey how you doing, what's going on? Are you okay?306 00:14:34,130 --> 00:14:36,930 -- Can I help you with something because you care about them?307 00:14:36,940 --> 00:14:40,150 -- I think when you just someone, you know it's funny like you have,308 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:43,360 -- you have someone you see and you ask them, how are they?309 00:14:43,940 --> 00:14:45,970 -- A lot of times? We really don't want to know how they310 00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:46,240 -- are.311 00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:46,640 -- You know,312 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,030 -- you just want to hear fine and that's313 00:14:48,030 --> 00:14:49,540 -- it and what314 00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:52,700 -- I've learned that when they say fine back to me,315 00:14:52,710 --> 00:14:55,060 -- like tell me about it, why is it fine, what's going316 00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:55,450 -- on?317 00:14:55,460 --> 00:14:56,490 -- Because you -- care,318 00:14:56,500 --> 00:15:01,360 -- but you can start figuring out where people come from if you want to and319 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:05,640 -- a lot of us, we just don't want to do it, we don't have the time for it,320 00:15:05,650 --> 00:15:12,030 -- we don't have the heart for it and we forget really let me just say this as christians.321 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,870 -- I think it's one of the things that hurts322 00:15:13,870 --> 00:15:16,340 -- Christianity the most is that we're not willing to323 00:15:16,340 --> 00:15:21,730 -- go out and show people the love of jesus through our actions to the way we love them,324 00:15:21,850 --> 00:15:22,360 -- right?325 00:15:22,540 --> 00:15:26,160 -- How we're going to have some charge in younger day,326 00:15:26,740 --> 00:15:28,930 -- come on -- now, you know,327 00:15:28,940 --> 00:15:32,020 -- I'm thinking about what you said and you said maybe we don't have the time,328 00:15:32,020 --> 00:15:34,750 -- but really how much time does it take to have a329 00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:37,860 -- quick conversation with someone and really find out how they're doing.330 00:15:38,740 --> 00:15:41,860 -- It doesn't take that long. It does not, that's amazing.331 00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:44,950 -- So back on the mature partnership,332 00:15:45,340 --> 00:15:48,830 -- the followers interests are the group instead of the self.333 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:53,360 -- So this personnel is more interested in the group than themselves.334 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,720 -- They will volunteer for difficult task,335 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:59,860 -- They will do things they normally wouldn't do because it's all about the group.336 00:16:00,140 --> 00:16:02,420 -- They have a high degree of mutual trust,337 00:16:02,430 --> 00:16:04,640 -- respect and obligation between the leader338 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:08,560 -- and follower and attested and dependable relationship339 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:14,180 -- and they may even depend on favors for each other and with a mature partnership,340 00:16:14,180 --> 00:16:17,470 -- you have a much more favorable outcome for the leader?341 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,930 -- The follower and the organization. You342 00:16:20,930 --> 00:16:22,300 -- go, it's good stuff.343 00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:23,330 -- That is good stuff.344 00:16:23,340 --> 00:16:25,800 -- Think about the people that you have worked with Dave,345 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:28,460 -- that you have a tested dependable relationship.346 00:16:28,460 --> 00:16:30,590 -- You know, you can count on them because you have in the347 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,160 -- past, right? And348 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:39,640 -- the good news about that is um, once you receive that kind of friend, it just,349 00:16:39,650 --> 00:16:41,190 -- it balances itself out.350 00:16:41,190 --> 00:16:43,560 -- You take care of each other. You look out for one another.351 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:44,250 -- Um,352 00:16:44,260 --> 00:16:47,070 -- I think it's essential as we get to know people353 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,040 -- that we try to understand where they're coming from.354 00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:50,510 -- You know, it's easy to say,355 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,930 -- I can't stand that person to you find out that that person356 00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:55,770 -- is dealing with cancer or that person is dealing with something else.357 00:16:55,840 --> 00:17:00,210 -- You have to look at the person as a person who needs, jesus.358 00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:05,040 -- Absolutely or already has them praise God and you both can praise him together.359 00:17:05,050 --> 00:17:08,170 -- Can praise him together. That's and that's the great way to do that.360 00:17:08,180 --> 00:17:09,849 -- That's, that's truly wonderful.361 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:14,359 -- So here's some advantages of L. M. X. Leader membership exchange.362 00:17:14,740 --> 00:17:19,950 -- L. M X applies to all levels of management. You can be the entry level manager.363 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,880 -- You can be the ceo of the organization. L. M. X.364 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,170 -- Applies to anyone in leadership anywhere.365 00:17:25,839 --> 00:17:30,060 -- You can be an usher in the church, you can be a pastor in the church. L. M. X. Applies.366 00:17:30,070 --> 00:17:35,460 -- Amen L. M. X. Applies to all organizations including volunteers.367 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:39,950 -- Have you ever tried to give orders? Of course you have to a group of volunteers.368 00:17:39,950 --> 00:17:41,180 -- It doesn't go very well.369 00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:45,120 -- Yeah. Well that's because you can cut their pay.370 00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:49,460 -- You can't you can't cut their pay.371 00:17:49,460 --> 00:17:50,180 -- That's, you know,372 00:17:50,180 --> 00:17:52,480 -- and I think with volunteer work that's a hard373 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,950 -- thing because one of the first things I learned,374 00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:57,750 -- sometimes a volunteer may not be in the right place.375 00:17:57,750 --> 00:18:01,060 -- So how do you fire that volunteer because they're volunteering but376 00:18:01,060 --> 00:18:02,980 -- also trying to make sure they get put in a place.377 00:18:02,990 --> 00:18:06,340 -- Don't take someone out of something till you find something else to put them in.378 00:18:06,340 --> 00:18:08,900 -- Amen to that anyway. That didn't really apply to this.379 00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:09,450 -- But I thought it's380 00:18:09,450 --> 00:18:11,310 -- good advice. But L. M. X.381 00:18:11,310 --> 00:18:14,710 -- Is one of the only leadership principles that applies to volunteers.382 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:18,450 -- And again, it's just you have to develop a caring relationship with them.383 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:20,720 -- Another good thing about L. M. X.384 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:24,450 -- Is it forces the leaders to re evaluate how they see their team.385 00:18:24,460 --> 00:18:27,720 -- This is entirely on the leader. The leader can't say that.386 00:18:27,730 --> 00:18:30,590 -- I don't get along with that person for any reason387 00:18:30,590 --> 00:18:33,210 -- because the leader has to get along with that person.388 00:18:33,220 --> 00:18:34,780 -- That's right for sure.389 00:18:34,790 --> 00:18:36,800 -- And the last of the advantages of L. M. X.390 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:40,560 -- Is it sensitizes managers to how in groups and out groups develop391 00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:43,640 -- out groups can develop without even noticing and392 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:46,880 -- after time goes by they become more disenfranchised393 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:50,200 -- and they move further away from the team they show up and they do their work,394 00:18:50,210 --> 00:18:52,780 -- they don't speak to anyone and they go home but the395 00:18:52,780 --> 00:18:55,590 -- team is losing so many valuable resources in that person.396 00:18:55,590 --> 00:18:56,430 -- When that happens397 00:18:56,430 --> 00:18:59,060 -- right. The term we used to use, they don't have any skin in it.398 00:18:59,340 --> 00:19:02,060 -- Exactly. They haven't been able to put that that399 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:05,670 -- that effort in there. It's just like a like a sporting team.400 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,680 -- You know you got the first team in the second team401 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,580 -- but the second teams part good because they make the first team402 00:19:11,580 --> 00:19:14,750 -- better and when they when they make that you know I'm403 00:19:14,750 --> 00:19:18,340 -- not here just to start I'm here to make an impact.404 00:19:18,340 --> 00:19:21,040 -- You can do that wherever God puts you even fish405 00:19:21,140 --> 00:19:23,710 -- safety and you're way too heavy and you don't think406 00:19:23,710 --> 00:19:25,370 -- you can do it is on the football team,407 00:19:25,370 --> 00:19:26,770 -- you can still do it because408 00:19:27,540 --> 00:19:32,490 -- you're working towards what you need to be. Amen. I don't even know that no409 00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:33,050 -- good.410 00:19:33,060 --> 00:19:35,860 -- That was really good and I hadn't thought of this being411 00:19:35,860 --> 00:19:38,960 -- applicable to sports teams but you played sports growing up.412 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,250 -- I played sports growing up.413 00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:43,170 -- Think about the people on your sports team that you knew you could count on,414 00:19:43,170 --> 00:19:45,950 -- you knew you could trust that's when you have the best teams.415 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:47,640 -- Absolutely. Absolutely.416 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:51,790 -- It's well and it's you know a lot of that develops over playing a lot417 00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:52,540 -- of games together418 00:19:52,550 --> 00:19:54,730 -- and that's the only way you got to get that relationship.419 00:19:54,730 --> 00:19:54,910 Some420 00:19:54,910 --> 00:19:57,770 -- of the best teams are the teams that have been put together for a long421 00:19:57,770 --> 00:19:58,850 time422 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:02,660 -- because you've got that trusted returned dependable relationship.423 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:06,570 -- So let's talk about the disadvantages of L. M. X. And there's not many L. M. X.424 00:20:06,570 --> 00:20:09,270 -- Is really one of my favorite modes of leadership.425 00:20:09,740 --> 00:20:13,720 -- The first is employees differ in their abilities and trustworthiness.426 00:20:13,730 --> 00:20:17,360 -- Sometimes you may have someone who's just not trustworthy,427 00:20:17,370 --> 00:20:21,380 -- they could have an addiction or they could have anything else where you428 00:20:21,390 --> 00:20:25,400 -- keep putting trust in them and they just they're not a trustworthy person.429 00:20:25,410 --> 00:20:28,850 -- And that's I mean and I think that happens a lot because we430 00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:31,960 -- we put ourselves out there and then we we get hurt,431 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:34,820 -- hurt people, hurt people432 00:20:34,830 --> 00:20:37,800 -- that I love that, that's a beautiful thing.433 00:20:37,810 --> 00:20:43,360 -- So that that's what happens when we get hurt and we hurt others. And so434 00:20:43,740 --> 00:20:49,350 -- um you do need to evaluate it, you need to be careful but you also need to be okay435 00:20:49,740 --> 00:20:54,360 -- telling somebody who you are and you know, you just gotta open up me, you436 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,200 -- that's hard, this is harder than I would think.437 00:20:57,210 --> 00:20:58,710 -- You said it.438 00:20:58,710 --> 00:21:01,930 -- All right there, open up and be you and that's hard.439 00:21:01,940 --> 00:21:03,560 -- That's really hard.440 00:21:04,140 --> 00:21:06,230 -- But it pays off and it gets the results.441 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:11,490 -- Amen, I've always said the goal to this life is loving, jesus, Amen.442 00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:15,940 -- Amen being the authentic self that he created you to be,443 00:21:15,950 --> 00:21:20,590 -- don't try to be what anyone else is try to be who God made you.444 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:21,270 -- Amen.445 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,670 -- Here's the last disadvantage of L. M. X. There was only two446 00:21:24,940 --> 00:21:26,050 -- and think about this one,447 00:21:26,540 --> 00:21:31,120 -- it inadvertently supports the development of privileged groups in the workplace.448 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:35,610 -- If you have an in group and an out group in the in group is a privileged group,449 00:21:35,620 --> 00:21:38,150 -- but the goal of the leaders to get everyone into that450 00:21:38,150 --> 00:21:38,600 -- group.451 00:21:38,610 --> 00:21:44,100 -- And here's the thing, if it's if you're under that group that's that's your group,452 00:21:44,110 --> 00:21:46,660 -- that's who, that's who you belong to, that's my tribe453 00:21:46,940 --> 00:21:51,680 -- and Exactly, so that's the case and I think I think you're okay when you,454 00:21:51,690 --> 00:21:55,130 -- when you keep that circle with who you are and what you455 00:21:55,130 --> 00:21:58,380 -- do with the people that you work for whatever work with.456 00:21:58,390 --> 00:22:00,320 -- Absolutely. So what did you think of L. M. X.457 00:22:00,330 --> 00:22:05,280 -- I -- thought it was very good and the only thing um again with it being thanksgiving,458 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:08,360 -- I thought of some stuff that can kind of coincide with that and459 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:12,670 -- and that's really you have to have a thankful heart colossians 2 67.460 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:17,350 -- So then just as you received christ jesus Lord continue to live,461 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:22,580 -- live your lives in him rooted and built up in him,462 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,860 -- strengthened in the faith that as you were taught463 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:29,800 -- and overflowing with thankfulness, it's beautiful.464 00:22:29,810 --> 00:22:33,700 -- So I have to have a heart that just is over,465 00:22:33,710 --> 00:22:37,420 -- you know how I'm gonna like people when I'm okay with me and,466 00:22:37,430 --> 00:22:41,870 -- and being okay with me means I'm thankful for God created me467 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,670 -- as crazy and weird and awkward as I know I am.468 00:22:45,740 --> 00:22:51,540 -- God made me this way and it's not an excuse, it's for real. Amen.469 00:22:51,550 --> 00:22:56,260 -- I'm good with the, I love the way guy, I don't think the way other people think,470 00:22:56,270 --> 00:23:00,770 -- Trust me, just ask my wife, here we go, praise the Lord.471 00:23:01,140 --> 00:23:03,450 -- I think I'll be a472 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,920 -- now I'm gonna try to get back to a serious thought.473 00:23:07,930 --> 00:23:12,270 -- A couple more things Thessalonians give thanks in all circumstances474 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,890 -- for this is God's will for you in christ jesus,475 00:23:14,900 --> 00:23:18,630 -- you start working with people when you're thankful for who they are and476 00:23:18,630 --> 00:23:21,560 -- you start the only way you can be thankful for who they are,477 00:23:21,740 --> 00:23:23,330 -- you got to find out who they are,478 00:23:23,450 --> 00:23:27,690 -- which is kind of what we've been talking about and I get the other stuff.479 00:23:27,700 --> 00:23:29,710 -- But I think this is, I think it's important.480 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:35,360 -- One of my favorite quotes is by a, a milne and um, it's Winnie the pooh,481 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:36,690 -- that great theologian.482 00:23:36,700 --> 00:23:39,990 -- It's the great theologian. I thought that was funnier than you did.483 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:45,560 -- Okay Piglets noticed that even though he had a very small heart,484 00:23:45,570 --> 00:23:47,360 -- it could be rather large485 00:23:47,740 --> 00:23:52,900 -- amount of gratitude, let's be thankful this week, not just this week,486 00:23:52,900 --> 00:23:56,860 -- let's try to put it on for the rest of the month, wait a minute, it's almost over.487 00:23:56,860 --> 00:24:01,430 -- Let's try even around christmas time to be thankful to love people the way488 00:24:01,430 --> 00:24:05,280 -- you want to be loved and to remind yourself that jesus loves you,489 00:24:05,290 --> 00:24:05,990 -- Amen.490 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,770 -- Don't forget that491 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:11,770 -- we're so thankful that you let us uh talk to you.492 00:24:11,780 --> 00:24:16,820 -- Um I think those who asked where we were, we're back and if we can do anything,493 00:24:16,820 --> 00:24:19,580 -- if we can minister to you, make sure you check out our website,494 00:24:19,580 --> 00:24:20,010 chris495 00:24:20,010 --> 00:24:20,970 -- lead 12 12 dot496 00:24:20,970 --> 00:24:21,470 -- com.497 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,670 -- We'd love to interact with you,498 00:24:23,670 --> 00:24:27,060 -- we'd love there's some stuff there that you can interact with,499 00:24:27,070 --> 00:24:31,350 -- we'd love to see you there, we hope you guys have a wonderful Turkey Day,500 00:24:31,540 --> 00:24:36,840 -- thanksgiving and we know that God will bless you and at first anything we can do,501 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:39,760 -- please allow us that blessing have a great week,502 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:46,280 -- this is an lbs production which stands for pounds,503 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:47,330 -- I don't know if you knew that or not,504 00:24:47,330 --> 00:24:52,970 -- but it also stands for laughing because we're saved but we kind of like the pounds so505 00:24:52,980 --> 00:24:57,680 -- um chris will lift them and I will gain them and we will have a great time.506 00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:58,450 -- Thanks for listening.507 00:24:59,440 --> 00:24:59,670 Mhm